Uncle Phil: “I’m going to be frank.”
Judge Robertson: “Okay, who am I?”
Uncle Phil: “I’m going to run for judge”
Judge Robertson: (laughs)” Oh, Frank!”
-Uncle Phil and Judge Robertson
You have to realize, Will, sometimes Parents just don’t understand.
-Uncle Phil
Uncle Phil I got your back. Well actully I got half your back cause your back is like PFF!
-Will
Yo, G.
-Will
So your telling me to disobay uncle phils orders, ah-well wont be the first time PSSH possy out.
-Will
YOU POPPED BRUCE!
-Carlton
Carlton: Remember, we must never fear to negotiate, but never negotiate out of fear.
Will: Remember, Momma said knock you out! LLCoolJ.
-Carlton and Will
It’s your world squirrel, I’m just trying to get a nut.
-Will
Kathleen: If you say “breath mints” one more time i’m gonna scream!
Will: Breath mints…breath mints…breath mints, breath mints, BREATH MINTS!!!
(Kathleen Screams)
Will: …And your momma sucks breath mints too!
-Will and Kathleen
Kathleen: I thought you liked doing things for me?
Will: I did ’til you ate all my breath mints.
-Will and Kathleen
(Singing while stuck in the basement with some girl) I’m stuck in a basement, sittin’ on a tricycle, girl gettin’ on my nerves… All this time I thought she was fine – didn’t know that her body weren’t hers.
-Will
Girrrl, your feet must be tired ‘coz you’ve been running through my mind all day, COME HERE!
-Will
Hilary: Long distance relationships don’t usually last, I mean look at The Little Mermaid. She was under the sea and he was on land.
Ashley: Yeah, but they ended up together.
Hilary: Yeah! With the help of a lobster, HELLO! Do you know a lobster?
-Hiliary and Ashley
Word Up! This is gonna be cold stupid on the serious tip.
-Ashley
(After Uncle Phil punches Dr. Hoover) “THAT’S IT, UNCLE PHIL! YOU’RE GROUNDED!”
-Will
Daddy, I need $300.
-Hilary
Carlton: “Will, check out the talent! She’s cool she’s hot, she’s”
Will: “Your baby sister, man!”
Carlton: “AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”
-Carlton and Will
I seen him do a lot of chewin’ but I ain’t never seen him spit nothin’ out.
-Jazz
Son, I’m not the one who’s gonna need luck. Not only am I gonna win, I’m gonna chew you up and spit you out.
-Uncle Phil
(Looking at pictures) Ooooh, that’s nice… Oh that’s really nice… Oh that’s…. AHHH! (throws pictures)
What’s wrong?
That picture… you had no bathing suit top on!
-Will and Phil’s friend
Carlton: If it smells like walks like a duck looks like a duck what is it?
Will: Your prom date.
-Carlton & Will
Little Timmy wanted a drink, but now he’ll drink no more. Because what he thought was H 2 O was H 2 S O 4.
-Carlton
Back in Philly, they used to call me SPIDERMAN!
-Will
But he doesn’t use an axe or a chainsaw. He talks his victims to death. So if you see this monster run and don’t look back kids. This monster’s called the Bel Air Beast. (Points to Carlton) And ,oh my goodness, there he is!
-Will
(After his mom cheats and runs out of house in high pitched voice) My-My mommas cheatin’!
-Will
At the risk of sounding redundant, dinner is served.
-Geoffery
Will: Omg! Carlton! whats that growing on your neck?!
Carlton: AHH! where?!
Will: Oh thats just your head.
-Will
Carlton are you by any chance an idiot?
-Will
Will: You really need a woman, G.
Geoffrey: What’s a woman?
-Will, Geoffrey
Oh, stop it you little Filthy McNasty.
-Will
Vivian: Are you alright Will?
Will: Oh, yes Aunt Viv.
Vivian: GOOD, now i can break your legs!!!
-Will, Vivian
Vy: I also got tickets to see New Edition.
Carlton: OOH! I wanna go!
Will: Shut up Carlton!
Carlton: Oh yeah! Well… You smell like brocolli.
-Will, Vy and Carlton
“YA’LL AINT GOT TO GO HOME, BUT YA’LL GOT TO GET THE HELL OUTA HERE!!!”
-Will
Uncle Phil: Geoffrey, get me my tools.
Geoffrey: You mean your knife and fork?
-Phil, Geoffrey
Uncle Phil: Back in college, I had a professor named Matthew Langford. The man changed my life. You want to know how? He challenged me.
Will: To what? A pie-eating contest?
-Phil, Will
Roses are red, violets are blue, me and Jazz are black, Carlton what are you?
-Will
Carlton: Will, while your in training you must stay away from fats, chocolates and women.
Will: damn, I should really cancel my date with that fat chocolate woman.
-Carlton, Will
If you went down to jazz’s neighbourhood looking the way you look and talking the way you talk, you wouldn’t come back walking the way you walk.
-Will
All the brothers play there hair like this, Hair on top, none on the sides (points to Uncle Phil) but I guess y’all got kinda a reverse thing going on.
-Will
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